Perspective

This week has been tough for so many reasons. We are fine. Everyone is healthy. Stress at work. Tax season. Life in general session. Sort of like someone pressed the fast forward button and it stuck. Makes me wonder (once again) why we are not given a manual at birth to figure out a lifetime. (Maybe with pictures and catchy rhymes...)

When I find myself in a week like this ... It is easy to feel sorry for myself. In quiet moments of reflection I put myself in timeout. Life is what it is and somehow we survive.

Sometimes bad things happen to us. They do. It happens. "Good" or "Bad" (however this is determined) life does not discriminate.

There are days I wish things were different. Truly. That the world (my world) would settle down and remain consistent. Calm waters and smoothe sailing. Seems like it should happen..... at least for a while.

A nun, whom I respect and like, asked me how I was doing. Just being polite. A common phrase, "how are you today" awaiting the expected "I am well." So I was agreeable.

She smiled widely. "You must have been extra good then. Doing good things leads to many wonderful blessings."

For a moment I just stared at her. Wide eyed my mouth sprang open. If this were true ... then what terrible thing did I do to have 4 micro preemies and lose a child? Just for a moment. Not for long. A fraction of a second.

Blessings do abound in my life. Wonderful things that would not have happened. Wisdom I would not have had my life not run this course.

*My husband is a wonderful father. Patient, kind and loving whenever he cares for the kids. They love to play games with him. My heart fills with happiness when I watch them together.

*I am capable of dealing with more than I ever dreamed I would be asked to. Seldom do I rant that "this is not supposed to be" ... It is and I am. Resourcefulness, courage and determination abound. Before I had no idea how important these skills would prove to be.

*Disability is only a word. A person's ability is what matters. Benjamin has incredible ability. People are drawn to him. Through grins and giggles he teaches adults to be accepting and more carefree.

*When my children were born we were told all the things they likely would never do. If they survived. Through a lot of work, prayer and help ... I sit back and watch Ben, Callie, and Donovan in amazement. Truly the tiny people they are ... who they are becoming .... It is inspiring.

*By working inside an NICU with families .... I feel like my experiences lift (even if just slightly) the burden of parents and grandparents currently experiencing their baby's hospitalization. This is rewarding and healing. When their eyes smile and their faces light up ... Those are the moments that make my work life worth while.

So blessings to each of you. Whatever way each comes to you. However they look once they arrive.

This week has been challenging. No way around it. One of those spectacular weeks that startle you. I am still dazed.

How important it is to remember what has worked out just fine.

Hope everyone has a wonderful week.