Lights in My Rearview

To work and home I went all week and was frequently asked, "How are you doing today?"

More than once I scrunched my brow, scratched my head, and shrugged my shoulders admitting, "I don't know."

This week has not been terrible. Certainly it could have been a lot worse. However, it was not a wonderful week either.

Each year it seems like there is at least one week when

my world becomes unhinged. Everything is Topsy turvy. I walk around peeking through my splayed fingers afraid of what else is waiting for me. Like a B horror flick I want to look away but cannot resist seeing what happens next.

Thankfully my children were not truly a part of this week's drama. They were "extras" and that was minimal. Brett barely made the ending credits. (He will quickly agree this is not only true but he is happy about it.) Nope, I honestly say this week was about me.

Tuesday I was stopped for going the speed limit. Okay ... not exactly. I was going the speed limit but it was in a school zone. Yep. Bad me. It was twelve thirty in the afternoon and it did not occur to me that some older kids were coming back out into the world.

Benjamin was with me. I just picked him up from school (he goes half days). Boy was he excited to see the shining police lights.

This particular incident ended far better than it could have .... Whew! It is amazing what a little humbleness might sometimes accomplish. (No, I did not cry.)

Tuesday night I sat around a table in the "chaplain's conference room". It is where I have parent meetings because there is no room up in our hospital unit. A nun was finishing up report. Before leaving she chit chatted with me and remarked, "I'm going to say extra prayers for you tonight. That is your points for doing good work."

I softly laughed because the work I was doing was part of my job. Work that I love. Still, work that I am supposed to do.

Thursday arrived and I had no idea what the morning would bring. Lights were out ... construction was here and there ... and I had a wreck. Not a fender bender but a full blown wreck.

It could have been a whole lot worse. There were no injuries. Drivers were the only passengers. No ticket was given. My car looks pretty bad though. Ugh! The motor grinds ... seriously. It is a truly ugly sound.

Most of the day I squinted around a terrible headache asprin would not ease. My blood pressure was through the roof. Exhausted I just wanted the day to stop. (All of this from stress and not the accident)

Someone very dear to me suggested it was very "narcissistic of (me) to assume the universe is plotting against me". Humph.

I went to work anyway. Another parent hour inside the "chaplain's conference room". On the table there was a piece of paper sitting on the desk. It was a prayer of Acceptance.

This prayer went something like this:

"For all the things that happen...the experiences, people, and places we meet that cause us to find reason to complain and become anxious .... for all the times we try to find a reason why .... the questions we ask that have no obvious answers ... Help me to stop being selfish... so focused on me. Everything is not about me. In the end we will have the answers. Everything will fit. Help me to accept this."

Seriously. This is what it said.

I am unsure how any of it fits together. Really. I'm clueless.

However I have to admit this week has been unusual. This was the first time I've been stopped for a speeding ticket and the first big wreck I've ever been a driver in.... Really. About six years ago I had a minor fender bender.

To say this week has been surreal is putting it mildly. It reminds me of the children's books titled, "A Series of Unfortunate Events"... Then again ... they may not be unfortunate at all. Weeks like this offer much to think about.

Please excuse my unusual blog topic today. Most of you come to see pictures of the kids. So without further neglect .... here you go. :-)